Derek Follett

my digital home


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Grass.

From the Xanga archives (July 13, 2007):

Katie and I just got a dog, a puppy, Artie. One thing I admire about Artie is his love for grass. I take him outside and he rolls and stretches out in the grass biting at the weeds and pawing the dirt. I want to lay on the grass and enjoy it too. I remember people in college were always on the grass, and I envied those people with their backpacks as pillows napping during the midday. I tried it once but I feared I wouldn’t wake in time for class then I swear I could hear the bugs in the grass and imagined them crawling over my sleeping body and face, a statistic “the average person swallows eight spiders a year” comes to mind. Artie would eat the bugs, and his only class is my fetch lesson preceding his nap. He flips over on to his back and stretches to his full puppy length and I remember marching band. Bob the marching instructor exercising his complete authority over us to tell us to lay down on the grass and become “one with the field.” I lay there looking up at the sky and up becomes down and all that prevents me from falling into outerspace is my oneness with the earth, and I don’t fear, my faith in the band and the earth sustains me. Then I remember the next marching instructor Marco telling us to pull out a piece of grass from the competition field as Artie begins to bite the grass as he rolls around. “This is my grass, this is my field, I own this field,” we were instructed to say. I remember Aaron the clarinet saving grass from each field with excitement that causes him to curse. Now I really do own my own grass that I mow and try to keep green with my limited experience and knowledge of irrigation and Agriculture. I think, “a person with a degree in Agricultural Engineering ought to be able to keep a greener lawn.” But then Artie enjoys it just the same and my worries vanish as he and I become one with the earth once again.


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Hoverboards

Another one of my favorite movie trilogies is “Back to the Future.” My 5th grade friends and I were convinced that hoverboards existed but their sale was being blocked by parent groups who were concerned about their safety. Stupid parent groups…

Anyhow, whenever I realize something isn’t working because it isn’t plugged in (the living room fan, the overhead projector, the toaster) I always find myself saying “McFly! Hoverboards don’t work on water, unless they’ve got POWER!”

Then I plug it in.


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The Matrix

The Matrix is one of my favorite movies.

When I take my dog outside I like to pretend I’m plugging him into “the matrix.” Afterall, the leash does plug into a port on the back of his neck. Then when we’re outside I can pretend we’re actually in a computer generated fantasy world.